Please go outside...

 ....to sneeze.... were the words that came from my hubby. Oh yeah, like I have a lot of time to prepare to get outside in time.

I have a womans worst nightmare. A cold. Just a cold... nothing major, just a cold (according to hubby). Yet when my hubby has it, it's influenza.. malaria... bubonic plague... (you get the picture). Women are expected to carry on as normal. Add a cold onto the top of Fibromyalgia and it's wipeout time. But alas, I cannot lay down and die quietly to myself to get on with it and recover. No. It's half term at school and my 4 year old is running around like a looney and needs entertaining. Her constant chatter and questions are tiring and my poor snot filled brain doesn't want to function. I still need to get up and down, running around after her, getting drinks and providing food when necessary as she's not old enough to get it herself yet, and she's not one for sitting down to watch TV or a film for moe than 10 minutes at a time. Dinner is still expected by hubby at the end of the day when he gets home from work. 

Yesterday morning I got 'that look' from him when he asked me if I would pick him up from football at 7pm as he'd had the works company car the day before and was driving to work in it, but would have no way of getting home after football. I looked at him and asked 'can't you get the bus home? I've got this cold and feel crap.' to the reply of 'the footy pitch is about 3 miles away from the bus stop.' I asked, 'can't one of your 'mates' bring you home, or take you to the bus stop?' he replied 'I can't expect one of them to run me about.' 'Oh but you can expect me to drive 12 miles to pick you up, 12 miles home, have dinner done all on top of feeling really shite?' [insert 'the' look]. He didn't phone for me to collect him and he somehow managed to get home without me. I didn't enquire as to his method of getting home. I was met with 'god you look shite' (thanks darling!). I said, it's a good job I feel shite otherwise that comment might have had a different result. 

So this morning I got up feeling worse than yesterday, and it's day 3 of this cold. I have no energy to entertain Isabelle so we will do sitting down things today. As I type this, she is stood at the side of me telling me about snakes. (!) Did I know that snakes have cold blood not hot? And a type of snake is a viper. And that it's windier outside than it is on Uranus. (Is Uranus windy? Hmmm, I'll have to google that one). These are the things my poor snot filled brain has to deal with daily when my 4 year old goes into information overload talk.

So the reason for hubby telling me to go outside to sneeze is that we watched Richard Hammond's Invisible Worlds on Tuesday night and he told us (my cold had started that afternoon) that humans sneeze at a speed of about 120 miles per hour, although adults between the age of 40 and 50 (I'm 41) can sneeze at 800mph. I am always very conscious about sneezing and when I have a cold I have the tissue box glued to my hand to catch the sneeze, but if you don't cover your mouth when sneezing, it can travel between 5 and 10 feet (although airbourne particles can stay in the air for up to 10 hours). Science on telly has a lot to answer for, and I'm certainly not going to stand outside in hail/sleet/snow to sneeze.

I think a Chinese meal is in order for tonight's dinner seeing as it was payday yesterday and I'm going to try and convince Isabelle that she can actually play and make things by herself for a change.