I'm glad that's done

Oh wow last week was tough! Tough on me phsycally. I am now paying the price. But it was worth it (I think).

It's so hard having to do running around, getting essential items and doing essential things before a deadline. Normal life had to take a back seat. I had to pick things up from one place and then drive 10 miles in the opposite direction to get something else, be some place else or spend time on the phone arranging things. It seemed for everything I tried to arrange, an obstacle or hurdle was in the way first. From Wednesday onwards it was just manic and constant. 

On Friday (Isabelle's birthday) I had to get all her party stuff done in the morning, because I was helping out in school during the afternoon, and her party was at 4pm.  I was so pysically and emotionally tired and on Friday afternoon I had a meltdown. It was so stupid too.. 

On Friday afternoon all the children had to go into the hall for the school leavers assembly, and the head mistress (akin to Vlad the Impaler!) was giving her stay safe speech. Fair enough. She told a child to move to the end of the row for chatting. The child said sorry and the head mistress said I'm sure you are, now MOVE. She shouted it so loud all the teachers jumped, never mind the kids. A little girl stood up and disolved into floods and floods of tears. It was my little girl. My little newly 5 year old, all excited because it was her birthday and her party was only half an hour away. She moved to the end of the row and was practically hysterical but she knew she had to be quiet and tried so hard to stop crying, but when she's upset she can't get a grip of herself.

Isabelle is not a naughty child by nature, if she's told off she's mortified, even if I tell her off. She's heartbroken, so to be shouted at so loudly by the head mistress just sent her to pieces. One of the teachers tried to console Isabelle and stroked her arm telling her it would be alright. I was over the other side of the hall and couldn't get to my baby sobbing her heart out. I realise that she deserved to be pulled up for chatting, but my no means was she the only one, and she absolutely did not deserve to be shouted at like that. I've never shouted at her that loud. 

After the headmistress did her speech she leant to one of the teachers next to me and I heard her say, did I frighten her or is she always in floods of tears like that? The teacher replied, no she's not a tearful child, we've never had to tell her off, she's one of the nicest children we have in school, and by the way, that's her mum sitting next to me. The head mistress said.. oh. Isabelle was still in tears, and the head mistress told her to move back to her space. I left the hall. I couldn't sit there watching her cry any longer.

Isabelle's teacher followed me out and I just dissolved in tears myself. I couldn't help it. It was just everything that had happened during the week, emotional overload. Isabelle's teacher was so apologetic and kept saying 'I'm so sorry, she didn't deserve being spoken to like that. Of all the children in school, Isabelle is the least deserving of being shouted at in that manner'. I said that if she was chatting, she needed to be told to stop, even though she's so excited etc.... but it was the manner in which it was done, and my mummy instinct kicked in. When your child is sobbing it's heart out, you just want to get to it and comfort it. 

I managed to calm down and the children came back into class. I went to get a glass of water and several of the other teachers came to me and apologised on the headmistress' behalf and said it wasn't fair and Isabelle didn't deserve that, she's such a lovely girl and is never any bother. They were all so sorry. I kept trying to say that if she was chatting, she needed telling, but they all said.. not like that.

A short while later the headmistress came to me and apologised. I didn't want to accept it. I'm a stubborn cow. If I hadn't been in the hall to see it, nothing would have been said to me, it would have happened and I'd have been non the wiser. Isabelle wouldn't have said anything to me because she would have been ashamed. The headmistress said she over-reacted in the heat of the moment because she was doing a serious speech about staying safe. I told her I realised that. She said she'd spoken to Isabelle after and made friends and chatted about her new baby rabbit, and Isabelle is fine now. I still wasn't. 

I told Mark about it later and ended up in tears again. I don't know why I got so emotional about it. Isabelle isn't a naughty child, she will do anything to stay out of trouble, she rarely needs telling off for anything, and definately behaves at school. The daftest thing about it is that even when I went to bed, you know how your mind goes over the days events.. I lay there with tears rolling down my face thinking back to how mortified and upset she was in the hall. She was fine and never mentioned it again, it's me that can't get over it.

Oh to be a parent.