Sunday, August 1

Imagine

Imagine, just for one minute...
  • waking up in the morning and feeling like you've not slept for a week.
  • having to sit on the edge of the bed for at least 5 minutes for the blood to start circulating before you can go to the bathroom.
  • trying to move your arms and shoulders with a 5lb weight strapped to each arm just to be able to make your morning coffee.
  • having to lean on every available wall/piece of furniture to be able to move around.
  • taking 10 minutes to be able to get back up to standing from a sitting position.
  • having to tell your young child, no I don't think we can go to the park/swimming/on a bike ride because you just don't have the energy.
  • hobbling around like a 90 year old woman because your hips and legs just don't want to work.
  • moving around at a snail pace because that's as fast as you can go
  • taking 40 minutes to write a small blog post like this because you just can't hold your arms out in a position to type for more than two minutes at a time.
  • the mental fustration, hurt, disappointment, loss of pride and overall bloody total annoyance that your mind is willing but your body just won't co-operate

I've been like this for 2 weeks now, and today is the worst day so far. I need a break from this fibromyalgia flare. All my positive thoughs have gone today. I'm so tired of it, my positivity has vanished. As much as I try to carry on as normal, today it has got the better of me and I've had to admit defeat to my hubby. He wanted to go to the Sunday market. Normally I would have gone along and trudged round slowly. Today, I said I don't think I can manage walking around the market. It hurts me to admit it's got the better of me, but today I have no choice. Hubby went to the market alone :(