Thursday, July 2

I don't like the unknown

Well I never did get to photograph the boys last Friday night!

As I'd mentioned, I didn't feel too good, but it got worse. Russ, Isabelle and I nipped to Somerfield to pick up a few bits and I felt unwell in the supermarket. I told Russ I needed some fresh air and had to go to the car. Russ came to the car with Isabelle when he'd paid for his shopping and I told him I thought I was going to pass out. I've passed out a few times over the years for some unknown reason, and I know the signs. I've never had it investigated. The next thing I knew, I was 'coming round' again. Russ said I'd been out for about 30 seconds, but I hadn't passed out, I'd had some sort of fit or seizure. I just remember thinking, thank god my bladder didn't let go (it had done in the past) because I was sitting in the drivers seat of my car. Russ gave me some water and after about 10 minutes I felt ok again, apart from feeling tired and a bit weak. I usually feel like that after 'passing out'. We went straight to the doctors, who then sent me straight to A&E for blood tests. The most embarassing part was when I got out of the car, I realised my bladder had let go. I was mortified. Russ just shrugged it off as if it were nothing. He was so good about the whole episode.

Russ phoned Mark on our way home and he said he'd be straight home from work and would take me to the hospital. I just wanted to lay down and sleep! To cut a very long story short (er) we arrived at the hospital about 1.30pm. Tests were done for blood, ECG, urine etc etc. Then they took me to the ward!! Yikes! That scared me. No one would tell me anything about what was happening, why I'd been taken to the ward, what was wrong with me or anything. All I kept being told was that the doctor would see me soon. Even when the ward doctor came to examine me, he couldn't tell me much either! I was scared! Mark didn't help matters by saying, what's going on? You're in a ward. They're keeping you in! I ended up in tears and he shut up in the end. I think it was just because he was scared too. He did in fact tell me the following day that he was scared and worried which made him nervous. It didn't help to calm meat the time though LOL.

I was told I'd have to go for a chest x-ray. Oh great! I told Mark it was probably a good idea to take Isabelle home and get some dinner for them both and I'd phone if they were going to let me home or not. By now it was about 6.30pm. Isabelle had been so good bless her. The hospital was a whole new playground for her and she was fascinated by the water coolers and kept going for more water. That kid barely stopped peeing all afternoon LOL. Oh and then she ate the ice-cream that they'd bought with my hospital dinner. She had the ward in uproar laughing with the way she devoured and savoured every taste of the ice-cream. It was as if she'd never had any before in her life with squeals of 'oh this is so lovely' and 'yum yum this is delicious' bless her.

So I was wheeled down to x-ray to be met by a rather dishy radiographer. Ohhh he was nice. I had an inward smile when he told me to strip to the waist LOL. what a sad person I'm becoming, smiling because a dishy bloke has told me to get my kit off.. LOL.. of course I had to put the rather lovely (not) gown on to have the x-ray. That done, I was taken back to the ward. around 9pm the Consultant Neurolagist came to see me. At last I was told something. He said everything pointed towards a fit. I had had all the classic signs and symptoms. Why it happened, no one knows, but he does think that all the previous passing out episodes were also fits. I now have to have a CAT scan and an EEG (that's to check for brainwaves. I told him he'd be lucky if he found brain ripples never mind brain waves LOL). He said I could go home! Yay!!

Mark and Isabelle were waiting for me in the car park at almost 10pm. It had been a loooong day. Isabelle just kept saying 'Mummy I love you. I missed you so much'. bless her little heart.

It has taken me almost a week to recover. I'm sure I've actually had some sort of virus because I've felt very odd this week. Lethargic, overly tired and just plain weird. It's hard to explain. Today is the first time I've felt anywhere near like normal and even now I still only feel about 90% right to how I normally feel. I'm just trying to take it as easy as I can, but life has to go on. Nothing has been done in the house housework wise. Washing has built up and the place is an absolute tip. Mark hasn't thought to tidy up at all or do dishes etc. I've had to do them when I've felt okish. So now I'm trying to catch up and it's taking some doing. I'm trying to do it in bits, hence sitting here typing now. I do a bit then take a break. But I really must get back to it before I have to go get Isabelle fron Nursery... no peace for the wicked, even when the wicked hasn't been well. [sigh]