Thursday, June 18

A bit lost and a vampire gerbil

I have to say I'm feeling a bit lost at the moment. Even though I have my hubby and kids around me, I feel lonely and a bit isolated. They're all doing their thing and getting on with whatever it is pleases them, and I seem a bit surplus to requirements, well apart from the cooking, cleaning and washing that is. I'm not sure who I am at the moment. I want to be someone in my own right as a person, not as a chief cook and bottlewasher. I want to do something. That sounds a stupid statement when I re-read it, but I really do want to do something and be good at it. But what that thing is... I don't know, I do know that it's not cooking and cleaning! I suppose life is a bit humdrum at the moment. Same thing, day in, day out. Get up, get Isabelle ready for nursery school and get her there. Come home, clean up the debris that my non-housework, non-picking anything of his up husband has left lying around from the night before. Do general housework etc, go get Isabelle from nursery... etc and the day goes on in a similar vein. I guess that's just life for a wife and mother.

An agreement was made between me and Russ over his mountainous pile of dirty clothes and I have now put the last load of his washing in. He has made a serious attempt to clear all the crap out of his room. He's put clothes out for charity that he will no longer wear. Clothes that are too small are going in the loft as he wants to lose a bit of weight to get back into them again, and clothes that have been washed are being put away. We called and picked up some stacking boxes last night so that he can put all his paperwork in one and all his cables, guitar leads and anything else similar into another, just so that they have a home and aren't laying all over the floor. He has a day off work next week and so we're going to go through the bigger items in his room (TV that still works, broken computer, working monitor, guitars (4 electric and 3 acoustic) and anything he no longer wants is going on ebay and anything broken is going to the tip. I will beat the hellhole that is his bedroom!

I spent yesterday making more garden ornaments. Mushroom houses and cherubs and they're all sat on the table waiting to be painted and varnished. So I'll make a start on those in a few minutes. I have to paint them when Isabelle isn't around because she wants to 'help'. eek!

And to finish... I've fallen out with one of our gerbils. The nuisance gerbil (the black one) has had it in for me for the past few weeks and every time I put my hand in the cage to feed it, it attacks me with it's teeth. This morning I went to give them some apple making sure I put the apple in first so it didn't attack me, but it jumped for me, latched on to my baby finger with it's teeth and hung on while biting very hard. Vampire gerbil is now in the bad books as it drew blood and loads of it! I was trying to shake the stupid thing off but the more I shook it the more it bit! I daren't let Isabelle put her hand in to pet them now, which is a real shame because she loves the gerbil, but I can't risk vampire gerbil biting her because it hurt me so I know it would definately hurt her. My baby finger is still throbbing now!