Another morning, eyes open
What will it bring today
I haven't got out of bed yet
Acutally, I'm ok
Feet on the floor, I'm upright
C'mon body get on your merry way
my legs don't want to work again
Actually, I'm half ok
Get down the stairs, get a drink
the old woman hobble in full force today
shuffle, stop, shuffle, stop
Actually, I'm not ok
I try to be cheerful, smiling
Goodmorning, another lovely day
but you can't see pain inside me
Actually, I'm not ok
I try not to moan and grumble
But this is my life day to day
wrapped in pain and things that don't work
Actually, I'm not ok
And so eventually to bed again
I've got through another day, hooray
Are you ok you ask me?
My polite, well trained answer, yes,
But actually, I'm not ok.
The invisible disease with no cure, and is very hard to explain to someone who can't see anything wrong with you. What is Fibromyalgia? Take a read HERE I've been suffering what is known as a 'fibro flare' for the past month. This is when symptoms flare up and are amplified for no specific reason. 'Fibromites' as we're often called, rarely let on what's really happening. People get bored with how you are really feeling and we adapt the 'yes I'm ok thanks' attitude and put on a brave face. But just because we look ok, doensn't mean we are pain free. Pain free is a thing of the past and has been for 12 years since I was diagnosed at 29 years old.
I've never been entirely sure whether it's a blessing or a curse that I don't look like I have CFS. I don't have huge bags under my eyes and sallow skin.
ReplyDeleteSo everyone says, "Hi Kim, you're looking good!" And if I mention the CFS has not improved in 4 years, that on the inside it still feels like someone pulled the plug out, then I can see the disbelief. "But you don't look tired"
I have no desire to have huge puffy bags under my eyes, and drawn, pale skin. But sometimes, just sometimes, I think it would be a great deal easier if I looked how I felt.
((hugs))
I know exactly what you mean Kim. Sometimes I wish I did look ill, just so someone would give me a hand to get stuff done. I'm not after sympathy (and I know you're not either) just a bit of empathy now and then would be nice. I do have the added advantage of slapping some make up on to cover up the tired look when it is there.. but just because I have makeup on, doesn't mean my body feels better or works better.
ReplyDeleteThe other thing that gets me, is just because i can do the shopping/hang washing out/or whatever on that particular day, doesn't mean I'm better and cured. I'm just having an okayish day.
Maybe we should start wearing signs around our necks LOL
Sending you lots of love, annie xx
ReplyDeleteThanks Julie. You know I appreciate it :) xx
ReplyDeleteA little relief would be wonderful, thank you. And yes, it does wear you down and cackles at you with a wicked witch laugh. I must say though, that things are not as bad as they were this time last week, so thats an improvement at least.
ReplyDelete