I try not to grumble about it when it happens because I feel bloody miserable enough as it is, but when I have a Fibromyalgia flare-up life for me turns to hell. Add to that a slip down the stairs on Russ's college folder that I didn't see, resulting in jarring an already very sore back and it just makes life even more bloody miserable.
On top of that, add a dose of fibro-fog and there is no hope for me.
If you don't know what Fibromyalgia is, here is a brief description of what I live with day to day:
Widespread muscle pain and fatigue plague those with fibromyalgia. People affected describe the pain as throbbing, aching, stabbing or shooting in nature. They will often say they 'ache all over'. It's often associated with stiffness, which, like the pain, may be worse first thing in the morning. Those with the condition may become hypersensitive to pain, finding that even the slightest touch is painful, and that pain lasts longer than would be expected.
Another problem that those with fibromyalgia may experience is ‘fibro-fog’ which can cause difficulty making decisions, understanding things, and problems with memory and concentration.
Oh the joys of it all eh? One of the worst things about it for me is that it is invisible. No one can see it. I don't look any different when I have a flare to how I normally look, except when I try to move. Then I start to hobble around like an 80 year old woman. I can only stand for 5 minutes at a time if I'm lucky. Washing the dishes can take as many as three or four attempts, and I don't have a very understanding husband. He seems to think that I should be able to work through it. If I tried harder I'd be able to manage a task. If it were only that simple. When your whole body is screaming at you and hurts like mad, there is no way you can push through a pain barrier and come out the otherside. The daft thing is, even typing hurts my fingers.
I am so bloody frustrated with this and it's driving me absolutely crazy after a week of it. I needed to vent and get it off my chest. Now I can smile when hubby comes home for his dinner and pretend that nothing is wrong, because that is what is expected.
I am so sorry that your husband doesn't understand how hard it is for you. I had to look this up the other day and when I was talking to someone about it, I was amazed at how terrible this is. My Mum has raw nerves in her lower body, so I know how much pain it must be for you and I hope that this period goes soon and you can grin and bear it whilst the hubby is home.
ReplyDeleteHugs.
I don't know how you keep going. I think the trouble is that some people find it hard to imagine pain if they haven't experienced it. I'll come & wash dishes for you if you like!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Pippa and CG. It's so nice to get some support. I think hubby is pretty much in the male camp of "I can't fix it so I'll pretend it no longer exists". But in deciding he can't fix it, he shuts his ears and empathy away. I realise it must be very hard for him to live with someone who has some level of pain at all times and still show empathy, but I really don't whine about it all the time because I HAVE to carry on. I don't wallow in self pity normally, but when it flares up, there is nothing i can do but ride it out.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for being there :)
Sorry to hear about the pain you are in and it's awful to have to take it alone. It's difficult for your husband to understand, I guess as you can't see a plaster on the leg or a bandage. I've had quite a lot of surgery on my back and on my hip, and that is also the sort of gut wrenching pain that is invisible to the outside world. Great that you can have a little rant on your blog - it is so cathartic! Might you be able to get some help for a little while each day? Just a thought. Keep smiling - take some photos of the snowdrops which look so wonderful just now x
ReplyDeleteIn my prior relationship, the bf treated me as though my being ill was a character flaw and things ended very badly.
ReplyDeleteFor a long while, my current partner did not understand either, until I went out on temporary disability from work a few years back so I could participate in a Chronic Pain (6-week "intensive reconditioning") Program.
Prior to my being accepted into the program, he came with me to the 1/2-day evaluation process, which included interview and examination(s) by the clinic's treating team (Physical Therapist, Pain Psychologist, Pain Doctor, Case Manager, etc.), and later when they had a session for family members to come and learn about their loved ones' condition(s) toward the end of the program.
Those two visits changed my bf's whole attitude toward me and his understanding about what I was and wasn't capable of, and he treated me COMPLETELY differently after that. I was amazed!