Pig of a week

After a pleasant weekend in Blackpool, this week turned into a pig of a week mainly due to getting a cough and cold. I felt it coming on and said to Mark (who had almost (apparently) died from his cold the week before) I think I'm starting with that cold you had. He said, oh, it's not a bad one. I reminded him that he said he was dying from it.. oh, he said.. erm, rumbled! Men and man flu! So the cough has progressed all week and now my ribs hurt from coughing but it's still not broken. Very non productive and frustrating. Grrrrr.

I've also felt so lethargic and really just can't be bothered with anything. I've not even been reading which is sooo not like me. It doesn't help that I don't really have any books that are calling me to read. I'm half way through the third book in a trilogy, but it's one of those that I'm going to have to read just to close the series rather than it gripping me and making me read to the end. The book is one of the most recent Dragonlance books by Weiss and Hickman and they do have a tendancy to waffle on in the middle for no apparent reason. I need something new to read but I'm so difficult to please. I'm not a fan of chick-lit, or sloppy romance books. I don't like horror or anything that I have to work too hard at. If it confuses me or I has so many characters in it that I forget who's who and who belongs to who, I'll put it down straight away. I have just finished Slash's (Guns n' Roses) autobiography and thoroughly enjoyed it .. but my god! What a drug fueled life he lived! He's clean now though. Hat's off to him for turning it around. I've even been to local charity shops and have found nothing of interest. arghhhh.. I hate not having any books lined up.

Blackpool and Back

Well, we're back from a very blustery and cold weekend in Blackpool. Who's smart idea was it to spend Mark's Mum's 60th Birthday weekend celebration in one of the coldest seaside towns in the country?

There were about 30 of us altogether in one B&B. The poor landlady, I feel sorry for her LOL.

To be honest, I was dreading going. I have been in attendence of the 'outlaw's' parties before and .. well... how can I put this? I dont' drink and they drink very heavily till 3 or 4am. I really didn't want to seem like a party pooper, but when I have to get up with Isabelle at anywhere between 6.30 and 7am, going to bed at 3 or 4 makes me tired and grumpy the next day. I really didn't want to be antisocial. They are a very rowdy lot, even Mark says so, but bless him, he saved our sanity in the end. The party was going well. Just in the front room of the B&B. The landlady wasn't licenced but was happy for everyone to bring their own drink. My god, the bar was more stocked than it would have been if the landlady did have a licence! Nibbles and munch things were set out and I avoided them completely, apart from a slice of birthday cake (halo now shining). The night went quite well to be honest and about 11.30 Mark asked if I was ready to go, because he was LOL. It's made such a difference since he stopped drinking. 4 years ago, he would have been there with them to the end. It's actually 4 years ago this weekend just gone (Mother's Day) that he stopped drinking. Life has been so much better with very few arguments and no violent tendancies since he stopped. Hats off to him. He just stopped and that was that. I won't go into the problems when he was drinking.. I don't want to go back down that track, it's too painful to think about, lets just say he's a completely different man!

We spent Sunday at the Pleasure Beach. Wow what a rip off! Wristbands that gave access to every ride, were £20. What did shock me was Isabelle's wristband cost £18!! She's only 3 for god's sake! And of course, because she's so small there are a limited amount of rides she could go on. £18!!!!! We spent an absolute fortune!! But we had a good time.

I was a little bit disappointed that I didn't get many photographs 'for me'. I did the general photographs of all the family, the birthday girl, the birthday cake etc and then the kids (including the adult kids) on the rides at the Pleasure Beach, but I only got a couple of shots of the pier for 'my' photographs. Ah well.

So on the whole, the weekend went quite well. We're now skint and have a whole week till pay day... talk about stretch the cash this week. Egg and Chips all week for my lot this week LOL

A little brag?

Am I allowed to have a little brag? Yeah, it's my blog, so why not LOL

A while ago someone from the BBC web team contacted me and asked if they could use two of my windmill shots that they'd seen on flickr. They were going to be doing a feature on windmills in Nottinghamshire.

Now, I was born and raised in Nottinghamshire until I moved at 21 yrs old. A Notts gal through and through. North Leverton Windmill is a very familiar local sight that I grew up with. Last summer whilst we were visiting my Mum, I took a drive out, just me and my camera, around the local countryside. I'd never had chance to photograph the windmill before, so that was my destination. The sky was very 'brooding' that day and I came away with what I thought, were pretty ok photographs!

So I received an email last week from the web editor of the BBC site saying that my photographs were now on the BBC Nottingham website.

I showed Mark and although he was pleased for me (sort of) he couldn't get past the fact that I'd let the BBC use these photographs for nothing. No charge, no fee... nadda! I wasn't bothered. They're tiny little pictures, they have my name underneath them and I really honestly didn't even think about asking for money for them to be used on the website. I'm more than happy to have my full name under the photographs. If anyone is interested in them, they can google my name and get to my personal photography site. So that sort of took the wind out of my sails a bit. Why is it that every time I feel I achieve something, the rug is pulled from under me. I was so happy that they were on the BBC site and will stay there, yet all some people think about it how much do I get for it? I suppose on one hand it's flattery really, in that Mark thinks my photography is worth money, but like I said, they're tiny little photographs, and if they didn't use mine, they'd have used someone elses for free... I wanted my name on that webpage LOL.

Anyway, here are a couple of screenshots of my photographs illustrating the feature about the windmill (which btw, is run and funded by local volunteers, who are struggling to find the cash to maintain and repair the windmill).

Agony

OMG I'm in agony! This is so bloody frustrating! I can go weeks with just aches and pains that after 11 years I'm kind of used to. You do get used to the daily niggles of Fibromyalgia and CFS, you just live with them, it becomes the norm after all this time. But from time to time I get hit with a 'flare'. This is a common term to fibromites, and one we all dread. A flare is basically that, a flare up of symptoms that we normally have. The aches and pains increase to a very noticable point and the fatigue just washes over you. My flare (as usual) is in my lower to upper back and my right shoulder (including the large muscle on the shoulderblade). Because of this, I walk like an 80 year old woman on a go slow.

It started yesterday and over the day got worse. Mid afternoon, I just lay on the sofa with my book. What I find hard to deal with are the looks of disdain from Mark. He looks at me like I'm being lazy by laying down reading rather than being up and about doing stuff. I try to explain, but how do you explain pain to someone who always has something worse than you? Every time I say something like 'my back hurts' he'll come back with 'oh, mine's been aching for days', and my 'whatever' is hurting.. blah blah blah. The difference is, it doesn't incapacitate him. How can I explain well enough for him to understand that I've actually done nothing to bring this on and that it even hurts to lay down?

So when we get to bed, I got the usual question of are you ok? This seems to be a nightly routine and he doesn't actually want an answer. A yes gets a response of a smile. A no, gets ignored as he's reading his book. So generally I will give a mmmm reply and that's good enough. Last night I told him no I'm not ok, to a response of oh. (nose still in book). I told him I hurt all over, badly. He did actually ask why to which I replied (quite flippently to be honest) oh the usual.. everything hurts, y'know, the usual I get from time to time. He carried on reading his book. I turned over feeling sorry for myself and went to sleep. He absolutely doesn't understand, and often tells me it's in my head. Oh if only... I wish to god it were in my head, I could shake it off and get back to normal life. Sadly, it's not, it's very real and very bloody painful.

I woke up several times in the night, three times of which I couldn't actually move. My back was frozen. I dont' get scared about this anymore. It used to frighten the life out of me, but I suppose I'm used to it now. I know that if I move slowly holding on to the headboard, I can get turned over ok. I manage to get up out of bed and get the blood flowing into my muscles again, and lay down to go to sleep and repeat the whole process again.

So today, the sun is shining, the wind is blowing and (this is obviously a housewive's brain) it's a perfect day for getting the bedding washed and dried. Is it worth attempting to strip the bed? I'm really not sure at the moment. I have to get Isabelle to school, which, when I'm like this, is a task in itself. I also have to call at the supermarket, there are three things which I HAVE to get today. Then pick Isabelle up from school at 11.30. Also, I will have to cook the dinner tonight. So these are the essential tasks that MUST be done whether I like it or not.

I once read on a website about The Spoon Theory. It was on a site for 'invisible diseases and conditions'. The theory is (hopefully in short) that your energy is limited when you are in a flare. You only have a certain amount and you have to 'spend' it wisely. If you were to take a handful of spoons out of the cutlery draw, this is your energy for the day. It may take one or two spoons to get showered and dressed. Another spoon to get a little one to school... and it goes on like this. If you manage you spoons wisely, you get through the day ok. Today, I have very few spoons, and with the tasks that HAVE to be done, I'm not going to have many left, so I'm going to have to be careful that I don't run out of spoons too early, otherwise I'm in trouble if I run out before the essential tasks are done. So this is why I'm wondering about leaving the bedding. It can wait till another day. it's silly really, but changing the bed is a simple task, but it means energy to strip the bed, get it all downstairs and into the washer. Hanging it out, fetching it back in and putting it all back on the bed again. That's the worst part, the putting it back on. My shoulders and back just can't cope with it. Could I ask Mark to do it? oh yes, I could ask him. But he just doesn't understand. It would mean me trying to explain the pains I have. He would switch his ears off at the first sentence and the bed still wouldn't get made until I did it.

I guess I'll leave the bed covers on today. [sigh]

More Little People

Oooooh, I'm enjoying my Little Tiny People. We went to the model shop today to get some more LOL. I felt a bit geeky to be honest, hunting through all the train sets and tracks and scenery to find little people. I felt like I had to justify my purchase. How sad is that? I didn't though, I just bought and paid for them. I did worry that if I said they were for my latest photography project, I might get wierder looks than if I were buying them for a miniature train set up.

So I bought some Civil Engineers. Apparently Mark said the one reading the schematic diagram is him LOL. Although he's not a Civil Engineer, he's an Electrical Design Engineer and spends his life drawing and looking at schematics as well as designing.

So here's today's Little Tiny People.

I'm really enjoying taking these photographs but find them really easy to do. The hardest part is coming up with the idea. I did have this idea in my head though because Isabelle broke the key on the laptop keyboard that she'd been using to play ceebeebies online.

I've decided to keep a Little Tiny People blog so that I can keep them all in one place, so feel free to take a look and please comment if you get time.

My little people

Every now and then I do something strange. Well I don't think it's strange, I think it's a great idea, but it seems that other people seem to wonder if I've lost the plot or something.

Photographically, I've been in a bit of a rut. Although I enjoyed taking photographs at the zoo, I'd done it before. Inspiration had dried up!

Then it hit me... a new idea. I went on ebay, as I do, and ordered some 'little people'. See.. you think I've lost the plot now eh? LOL

These people are tiny, only 4mm tall. They are actually meant for model railway set ups, but I bought a set of little housewives doing some cleaning. I've also ordered some construction workers but they've not arrived yet. Watch this space.

So these are my little cleaners. If you click the image you can view it larger.

I do giggle at myself sometimes. I have a notebook that I keep in my handbag.. well my memory is a pile of poop, so I have to write notes to myself, and if it's in a notebook in my bag, I know where I can find it. So I now have a list of things that my little cleaners can do for me to photograph. Am I a sad case? Probably LOL. But I'm having fun, so who cares?

Watch this space for more little people :)

METALLICAAAAAA!!

Those of you who know me will already know that we went to see Metallica on Saturday night.

What can I say? There aren't enough words in the dictionary to describe how great the gig was and how I felt. It was awesome and mindblowing!

I've been a Metallica fan for about 25 years (god I'm old!!) and to actually get to see them playing and performing live was out of this world. I really really want to go and see them again.

I can't find much more to say about the gig LOL, so I'm just going to post a few photographs we took with the little point and shoot camera, in a bouncing crowd, in low light, so they are blurred, but hey.. we got photos. We were so close we were only three people away from the barrier! wow!