I've rented a little cottage apartment from Sunday to Friday for myself. I am taking some time out to fix myself mentally and hopefully physically when I get back home again. The overwhelm at home at our new life post hubby's accident got too much.
So here I am, re-stocking the calm. I feel a bit like Shirley Valentine, if you can remember her lol Only I'm not going to be falling for any Greek (or any nationality for that matter) hunk. I'm here for peace and quiet and calm. And lets face it, with that view, it's definitely calming.
I'm proud of myself, yes, I just sat and thought about it and I am actually proud of myself. Firstly I can't believe I booked a holiday for myself. Secondly, I drove here myself. I know it's not very far from home in the grand scheme of things but anxiety takes over if I don't know where I am. But I coped. I found my cottage and here I am.
It's so quiet. If it wasn't for the seagulls screaming every now and then I'd think I'd gone completely deaf. I can see cars driving along the road next to the beach, but I can't hear them.
I am loving the freedom. I am only responsible for myself. When I got here last night it was difficult unpacking the car and getting my suitcase up the stairs, but I managed. I've not unpacked, it's all still in the suitcase, which isn't like me. I normally unpack stuff into the wardrobes etc. I've left clothes laying over the chair in the bedroom, again, not like me, but you know what... it doesn't matter.
This morning when I woke up, I decided not to get up but to doze on and off for a while until I was really ready to get out of bed. I've not eaten yet because I wasn't hungry. It's almost 1pm and I'm ready to eat but because no one else was wanting breakfast, it didn't matter.
Before I go and eat, last night was quite and emotional and grounding moment. I sat here watching the sun set and happened to look up and saw maybe 50 or so bats flying around the trees and above my head. I was a bit sad that Mark or Jamie wasn't here to share it with, but I thought for a moment and changed the thought process to one where I thought, oh wow, the sunset is amazing, it's so peaceful and quiet and I have bats flying overhead catching insects. There was only me in this moment. Only me witnessing this moment in time and no one else will have this moment that I've had. That is precious.
