Friday, July 29

Dear so and so.....

Dear Cold,

please do one. 6 days is more than anyone can take for a cold and I'm normally such a patient person. The thick coating of gunk inside my head is really pissing me off now. Oh and I note your 'lets add laryngitis for fun' trick arrived last night, much to the amusement of my family who continually say 'what' every time I speak. Give me a break please

Yours, Not happy being the butt of all jokes, Annie

Dear washer/dryer.

I wish I'd never bought you. You are nothing but a bloody pain in the arse! It is really un-necessary to break down every 6 months! Thank god I had the foresight to get you insured for breakdowns. I hope you are happy with yourself for refusing to drain out and let me open the door to take the full load of sopping wet clothes out, enabling you to hang on to them in your greedy belly causing them to rot.

yours, I hate you at the best of times, Annie

Dear Hotpoint

a week and a day to get an engineer out to fix my washer/dryer is like an eternity, especially when my hubby had a shouting fit at me this morning because 2 out of 3 pairs of his work trousers are stuck inside the washer and his 3rd pair are at work when he has to go to a meeting somewhere else. Can't you get more engineers on the job?

Yours, frustratingly, Annie

Dear Hubby

It's really not necessary to throw a wobbly because you have to be at a meeting at 8am somewhere other than your office, and due to the washer hijacking 2 pairs of your work trousers and you leaving your other pair of work trousers at work when you got changed to cycle home, you have no trousers to wear. Yelling at me because you are going to have to phone work and tell them you can't go to the meeting because you have no trousers really isn't my fault. I did tell you on Monday that the washer was holding your trousers to ransom.

Yours, I can't take the blame for everything,  Your wifey.

Dear Asda

Thank you thank you thank you for being open 24 hours so that when I suggested hubby go and buy a new pair of trousers so that he could attend his meeting this morning, he was able to do so.

Yours, gratefully, Annie

Dear Hubby (again)

Hmmm, have you forgotten I can check the bank account online to see exactly how much you've taken out? Do you really think you're paying THAT much for a pair of trousers?

Yours, I'll be emptying your wallet later, wifey.
Dear delivery man
thank you for delivering my new car battery. I will now be able to start my car again for the first time since Tuesday. You have given me my freedom back again.

Yours, very gratefully, Annie